Love knows no borders: My mother’s immigration story

I was going to write something about nutrition or exercise, but this is what came out instead.

She had lived through war and colonization. And she married, a man who she didn’t know or love - selected for her through a centuries old practice of matchmaking. A dowry was given to the groom’s family, and the bride was then beholden to her husband and in-laws.

My mother had been born into a family of privilege, but during colonization her family’s property and wealth were stripped from them - like most Korean families at that time.  Poverty, hunger, and violence ravaged her country – families were separated, and language and culture were robbed away. It was in this kind of landscape that Koreans became focused on surviving minute-to-minute – sometimes happy to be able to share a bowl of rice for their entire families. As a child, I would hear these stories repeatedly and had become indifferent, like most children who hear the common phrases – “when I was a kid, I had to walk up a mountain of ice to get school” - of course to illicit some kind of gratitude or guilt over enjoying modern conveniences.  The reality for my mother though, was that she did walk for miles, dressed in boys clothing to work at a factory to bring home money – so that her family could eat and she could continue to care for her ill mother.

Why do I share this now? Today – as we’re bombarded by the daily news of deportations and families being torn apart – the overwhelm can drive us into tuning out. But I share my mother’s story to highlight a story that so many immigrants share. Often, we don’t hear about an individual’s unique circumstances that affect the decision to risk everything to move to another country.    What would I risk for my family?

My mother moved to the United States for love – a love for her family. She sacrificed her health to care for not only her family, but so many others in her community and workplace. The idea of self-care was frivolous. But my mother, in a very planned way, created structure and provision for us.  

As I care for my mind, body, and soul, I offer a tribute to my mother.